Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Modesty Ain't Just for Women

Dan Edelen at Cerulean Sanctum offers some perceptive thoughts about modesty--for men and women.


Dan Edelen said...


Your blog is new to me. Thank you so much for featuring my post on modesty over at Cerulean Sanctum.

Blessings on your blogging!

anonintx said...

I'm not really sure what that post was about - but I didn't find it too edifying. Why do bloggers often put controversial pictures or artwork on their sites? The focus seemed to be a railing against women for being attractive to men and against men being attracted to women. This, in and of itself, is from the Lord, and if not for the fall, wouldnt' be a problem. We have to work through it though, fallen as we are, and look to the Lord for grace to do so. Also, it gets a little creepy sometimes when these things are discussed online between Christian men and women. We are talking about our innermost thoughts and even sins, a sort of online confessional, if you will. I'm not sure that's really glorifying to the Lord, or helpful toward Christian maturity and modesty either. I didnt' see much biblical wisdom or much about God's perspective either.

FellowElder said...

Thanks for joining the conversation. I can't explain why bloggers use controversial pictures on their blogs. My guess would be to stir controversy ;-)

I don't think it was railing against attractive women at all. The piece was a helpful glimpse into the fraternity of lust and knowing, lingering looks that so many of us participate in. It was honest, in my opinion. The piece showed how the immodesty of leering at a woman affects young and old, and devours the unsuspecting. I thought the piece was useful for its illumination of the interior thought life of men. And while I empathize with your concern for discussing these issues, it's bringing sin and sinful tendencies to light--hopefully in the context of loving accountability--that the Lord seems to be pleased in many instances to free people. Surely you would agree that the faithful pursuit of holiness is God glorifying and helpful for maturity.

anonintx said...

"Surely you would agree that the faithful pursuit of holiness is God glorifying and helpful for maturity. "

Yes, fellowelder I sure do. But I am not convinced at all that it should be done in the context of male-female communication(even online)or in inner-thought-revealing conversations (is this encouraged anywhere in Scripture?). And I cannot see how real accountablility applies in this case? Through internet communication one can undoubtedly hide/gloss over their real self and their sin.

I also really feel for Dan Edelens wife as he repeated numerous times the idea that it wouldn't have mattered what the young woman was wearing, she was just stunningly beautiful to him. I hope he feels that way about his wife too.

FellowElder said...

To be clear,
1. I'm not advocating, nor do I think the post I linked to advocates, either male-female accountability of "online accountability" if such a thing could be done.
2. Yes, I think "inner-thought-revealing conversations" is encouraged in scripture. Sin isn't simply a matter of external actions; it roots and sprouts in the heart and finds its genesis at least in part in the fulfilling of the desires of the mind (Eph. 2:3). Hence the mind needs to be renewed (Rom. 12:1-2). Seems to me confession and renewing should entail some sharing of our thought lives.
3. I can't speak for Mr. Edelen and his wife. Let me simply say that there is no necessary hurt to his wife for acknowledging that beauty exists in others. Given that he posted this on his blog, I would hope/assume things are strong enough with Mr. Edelen and his wife (I'm assuming he has one) that such statements are threatening to her. Just an assumption; sharing your hope that his every desire is for his wife.

Grace and peace,

Dan Edelen said...

I'm a little upset that anyone would question my feelings for my beautiful wife simply because I noted that other men in my story (including myself) thought this woman was very attractive. It's like the entire point of the story was missed by the reader in an effort to root out some kind of sinful action on my part. That's the kind of mistaken mentality I write about in many of my posts.

And yes, my wife and I discussed the entire incident over dinner that night and she contributed some of the insights that wound up in my post. We're not afraid to discuss touchy subjects (that Christians too many times shy away from and later on get hurt by because they failed to discuss it).

FellowElder said...

Thanks for responding. My wife and I have a similar rlationship-long habit of discussing openly issues like the one you raise. And I second your viewpoint that it's made our relationship that much healthier. Sounds like you're loving and leading well. My Christ's love be evident in your love for your wife.
Grace and peace,