Pure Church

Today I want to pick up our periodic series on "The Cost of Following Jesus." This is a series where we present a case study usually involving new converts to Christ who will face significant "costs" for following the Lord.

In our opening posts (here, here, and here), we considered the case of "Brad" and his long-time live-in girlfriend and three children. We considered the cost of Brad following Jesus and how the church should help him to pay that cost.

We've been thinking of Luke 14 as one foundation text for this series. There, the Lord says:

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

28"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

31"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

So, we're left to understand that those who turn from the broad path of the world to the narrow path of the Kingdom will need to count and pay the cost of following Jesus.

Scenario 2: Angela and Andy, Divorcees Wishing to Remarry


Today, I want to introduce a different scenario. Meet "Angela" and "Andy." They've been dating for about a year now. Both are professing Christians; they understand the gospel and give evidence of loving the Lord. They're in their early thirties and are active parts of two different local churches.

"Andy" is a member of your church. They've decided to marry and have come to you/your church seeking marriage counseling and to have the wedding there. As you speak with Andy you learn that both have been divorced. This will be their second marriage.

In Andy's case, his first wife had been unfaithful and they eventually divorced over the adultery. Andy and his first wife were professing Christians. In Angela's case, she had been unfaithful to her husband, leading to a divorce. At the time, neither Angela nor her husband were believers.

Andy's first wife has gone on to remarry and now lives with her second husband and four children across town. Angela's first husband has not remarried.

The Questions:

Can Angela and Andy remarry? If so, both of them, or one of them? Why or why not?

In your opinion, what are those costs in this situation? And how can you and your church help them bear those costs?

You don't have to be a pastor to answer these questions. I welcome your thoughts as a church member who might be called upon to help in a situation like this. The more the merrier!

JT posts a great video conversation between Bob Kauflin and David Powlison on the intersection between counseling and worship.

Yesterday I began a series of posts on the cost(s) of following Jesus. We would all agree that following Jesus is costly. And I suppose we would all agree that faithful evangelism and preaching must be clear about the cost of following the Lord. But what I'm interested in here is how that truth affects pastoral ministry, especially as we welcome new converts into the fold fresh from the world.

And to think about that a little, I want to sketch a series of scenarios and ask you all to share thoughts about how to care for people in these cases. With each case, I'll do two posts. The first post will offer the scenario and the main questions. The second post will, quite frankly, steal from your good suggestions and comments and a few of my own to attempt an answer of sorts. I really want to learn from others in all of this. So, "bring da Book!" Bring your experience. Bring other resources. Let's think together about this issue.

Scenario 1: "Brad," the Unmarried Father of Three

Imagine a single man in his mid-thirties, let's call him "Brad". He's been attending your church for several weeks now, listening attentively and showing interest in spiritual things. You have opportunity to get to know Brad a little bit. He works at a construction site nearby. He received his GED after dropping out of high school in the 10th grade. His father left the family when Brad was about 13 and he hasn't seen him since.


Today, Brad tells you he thinks he has been born again. He trusts the Lord Jesus and wants to follow him. You ask a few questions, and it seems Brad understands the gospel clearly. He gives you a pretty good God-man-Christ-response outline. You ask him about repentance and faith. He speaks to some particular ways he is repentant and joyfully speaks of giving himself over to Christ in trust.

Next week, Brad comes to church and takes up an entire pew with a young woman and three children. After the service, he excitedly introduces the woman to you as his girlfriend, "Jill," and the three children as his sons and daughter, "Brad, Jr.", "Thomas," and "Zoe."

They've been living together for 13 years. The oldest child is 14, about Brad's age when his father left. The youngest child is 3. The mother works as a waitress. The family primarily depends on Brad's income, which sometimes has seasonal ups and downs. Brad is the only believer in the family.

Neither Brad nor Jill really value marriage, since they've seen a lot of heartache in abuse, abandonment, infidelity, and divorce. They've lived together 13 years and they've worked it out okay; they're happy. Because they love one another and are committed to one another, they don't think their relationship is sinful nor do they think "a piece of paper" matters that much.

Brad wants to be baptized and join the church.

The Questions:

How do you counsel Brad? Do you baptize him and admit him to membership?

What specifically are the costs you think he may have to pay to follow Jesus? And how do you and the church help him to pay those costs?

HT: JT. This is simply the most powerful and insightful and helpful thing I've read in the blogosphere or anywhere else in a long time.

Read JT's post for the high points.

Read the first part at Boundless for more complete treatment. And continue the discussion here and here.

1. Counsel women alone
2. Counsel drunks; wait till they sober up
3. Counsel someone being counseled by another
4. Counsel without access to a phone, desk, writing materials, etc.
5. Counsel people who set down conditions
6. Counsel when a person refuses to do his homework
7. Counsel by telephone
8. Counsel by separating spouses from one another
9. Counsel people so drugged that they can’t reason
10. Counsel young children; counsel their parents
11. Counsel unbelievers; evangelize them
12. Counsel a Christian who will not accept Scripture as a Standard

See the remainder of Jay Adams’ list here. (HT: UA)

The current 9Marks ejournal takes a look at counseling in the church, featuring excellent interviews with some of the CCEF team.

This is a helpful meditation from John Piper. I've often counseled with people and heard those session-stopping words: "I've tried that. It didn't work." Has that ever happened with you?

Piper offers three words of encouragement. Read the whole thing here.